How do Canadians get wi-fi from their igloos?

Duh, we take the poutine from our touques,rub the maple syrup on our pet polar bears butt, use the poutine to lure lumberjacks, the pissed of bear eats the lumberjacks, we then use their saws to build ice towers enabling better Wi-Fi. If there some other way to do it,please help as my igloo and ice tower are melting....